Bityarpfas is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonest toad.

Bityarpfas created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bityarpfas, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bityarpfas, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bityarpfas' most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Bityarpfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Run away from turquoise moths, for they are unholy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bityarpfas.

5. Run away if five horses approach from the west.