Vabfodquat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, calm swallow.

Vabfodquat created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabfodquat, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vabfodquat, it will be very sad.

Vabfodquat's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vabfodquat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always wash your chest before prayer.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing ear rings.

5. Always wear red.