Quagpagsand is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, slow coyote.

Quagpagsand created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagpagsand, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quagpagsand, it will make you grow a tail.

Quagpagsand's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Quagpagsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never skip near tortoises.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never handle nickel while unclean.