Cenquafsag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, astonishing lion.

Cenquafsag created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cenquafsag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cenquafsag, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Cenquafsag's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Cenquafsag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three aardvarks approach from the north.

2. Hide from yellow snails for they are unholy.

3. Always help sick manatees.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never skip in holy places.