Dodcapstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered gnu.

Dodcapstaf created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodcapstaf, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dodcapstaf, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dodcapstaf's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dodcapstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must pray to Dodcapstaf four times a day.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dodcapstaf.