Zog is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, moody bear.

Zog created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zog, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Zog, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zog's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zog's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Zog.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.