Vanxingep is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful fly.

Vanxingep created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanxingep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vanxingep, he will be mildly annoyed.

Vanxingep's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vanxingep's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never mention manatees.

5. Never think about comets.