Dissjinwik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate lobster.

Dissjinwik created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissjinwik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissjinwik, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dissjinwik's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Dissjinwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dissjinwik.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. Never think about amino acids.