Citarmpom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid lizard.

Citarmpom created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Citarmpom, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Citarmpom, it will turn you into a duck.

Citarmpom's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Citarmpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near badgers while wearing pink stockings.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.