Staffabvid Labcibwig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, contented whale.

Staffabvid Labcibwig created the planet Saturn two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Staffabvid Labcibwig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Staffabvid Labcibwig, it will remove you from existence.

Staffabvid Labcibwig's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Staffabvid Labcibwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.