Yarlparkgan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, kind centipede.

Yarlparkgan created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlparkgan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarlparkgan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yarlparkgan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Yarlparkgan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Run away if five dogs approach from the north.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention manatees.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near whales while wearing black kilts.