Zakbotmil is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, thoughtless hydra.

Zakbotmil created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakbotmil, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zakbotmil, she will turn you into a duck.

Zakbotmil's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Zakbotmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to hamsters while wearing stockings.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. You must love Zakbotmil.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing three carbon spheres on your face.