Larnfadnig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient narwhal.

Larnfadnig created the Cigar Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Larnfadnig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnfadnig, it will send minions to preach to you.

Larnfadnig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Larnfadnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Never wear coats.

3. You must love Larnfadnig.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near bats while wearing magenta kilts and balancing six lead spheres on your back.

5. Never eat bark.