Tikpomcim is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic dolphin.

Tikpomcim created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikpomcim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tikpomcim, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tikpomcim's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tikpomcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while blessed.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never chant while facing north.

5. Put Tikpomcim first in all things.