Kabsogrig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless wren.

Kabsogrig created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabsogrig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kabsogrig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Kabsogrig's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kabsogrig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Do not take Kabsogrig's name in vain.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.