Vidnakflis is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, two-faced dugong.

Vidnakflis created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidnakflis, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vidnakflis, she will jump up and down on your head.

Vidnakflis' most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Vidnakflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Erect five titanium sculptures of Vidnakflis on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

5. Always help sick whales.