Bafcepboss is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, uncaring human.

Bafcepboss created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Bafcepboss, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bafcepboss, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bafcepboss' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bafcepboss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Hide from cyan eagles for they are unholy.

3. Never feed onions to frogs while wearing magenta corsets.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always stare at clouds.