Gat is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ill-tempered centaur.

Gat created the Andromeda Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gat, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never paint your legs turquoise.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not eat spinach.