Vindumdog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vindumdog created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vindumdog, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vindumdog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vindumdog's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vindumdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Retreat if five seals approach from the east.

3. Never mention pigs.

4. Vindumdog loves doves, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about bacteria.