Tipnilran is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, impressive octopus.

Tipnilran created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipnilran, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tipnilran, he will throw large rocks at you.

Tipnilran's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tipnilran's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never gather seven shrews near bridges.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Never mark doors with white.

5. Do not shave your face.