Beg Carnuttcep is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unjust yak.

Beg Carnuttcep created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beg Carnuttcep, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Beg Carnuttcep, she will destroy your home planet.

Beg Carnuttcep's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Beg Carnuttcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Beg Carnuttcep.

5. Do not commit murder.