Tabcargil is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, impressive dragon.

Tabcargil created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Tabcargil, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tabcargil, it will turn you into a goat.

Tabcargil's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tabcargil's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.