Zanbugfarnwod is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-knowing whale.

Zanbugfarnwod created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanbugfarnwod, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zanbugfarnwod, she will turn you into a sheep.

Zanbugfarnwod's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zanbugfarnwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cucumbers to snakes while wearing corsets.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Zanbugfarnwod on top of all buildings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.