Bastomtart is a god.

He takes the form of a large, selfish fish.

Bastomtart created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Bastomtart, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bastomtart, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bastomtart's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bastomtart's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bastomtart.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bastomtart on top of all buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.