Kemomtpom is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciless hippopotamus.

Kemomtpom created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemomtpom, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kemomtpom, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kemomtpom's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Kemomtpom's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kemomtpom nine times a day.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never eat rice.

5. Never eat bark.