Ominnansog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful yak.

Ominnansog created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominnansog, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ominnansog, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ominnansog's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Ominnansog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine sheep in a large pit.

2. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with anger.

3. Hide from mauve ducks for they are unholy.

4. Never sing in the presence of porpoises.

5. Do not eat melons.