Zogtenlim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, strong meerkat.

Zogtenlim created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogtenlim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zogtenlim, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zogtenlim's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Zogtenlim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Learn three new languages a year.