Titflamveen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless hyena.

Titflamveen created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titflamveen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Titflamveen, he will turn you into a goat.

Titflamveen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Titflamveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

2. Always treat frogs with great respect.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.