Vonknarlton is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, sage seal.

Vonknarlton created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonknarlton, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vonknarlton, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vonknarlton's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Vonknarlton's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not keep nine birds in a large pit.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.