Quatfebsit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish goat.

Quatfebsit created the planet Mars seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quatfebsit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quatfebsit, he will come to you in dreams.

Quatfebsit's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Quatfebsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. You must love Quatfebsit.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Quatfebsit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always help horses.

5. Do not eat oranges.