Zedgudwan is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, narcissistic swan.

Zedgudwan created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedgudwan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zedgudwan, he will turn you into a frog.

Zedgudwan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Zedgudwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Zedgudwan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.