Dutnigquat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, annoying mongoose.

Dutnigquat created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dutnigquat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dutnigquat, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Dutnigquat's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dutnigquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Dutnigquat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.