Tiphakdap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair donkey.

Tiphakdap created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiphakdap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tiphakdap, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tiphakdap's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tiphakdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Tiphakdap loves snails, so they must be respected.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.