Hubvonkstan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unjust shrew.

Hubvonkstan created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hubvonkstan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hubvonkstan, he will come to you in dreams.

Hubvonkstan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Hubvonkstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

2. Feed all hungry moths.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never adorn your back with blue markings.