Danpanglarn Narlfenkam Lapbatbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, uncaring bird.

Danpanglarn Narlfenkam Lapbatbonk created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danpanglarn Narlfenkam Lapbatbonk, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Danpanglarn Narlfenkam Lapbatbonk, she will turn you into a plant.

Danpanglarn Narlfenkam Lapbatbonk's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Danpanglarn Narlfenkam Lapbatbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never feed lots of onions to snails while wearing blue hats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.