Tamkadcem is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthinking goose.

Tamkadcem created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamkadcem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tamkadcem, it will come to you in dreams.

Tamkadcem's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tamkadcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never feed bananas to bats while wearing jumpers.

5. Never think about asteroids.