Dumweemut is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish guinea pig.

Dumweemut created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Dumweemut, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dumweemut, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Dumweemut's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Dumweemut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Mites are not to be trusted.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. You must pray to Dumweemut five times a day.

5. Do not commit murder.