Hapmifmit is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, annoying dog.

Hapmifmit created a quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapmifmit, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hapmifmit, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hapmifmit's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hapmifmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of elders.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.