Honnellwitcithad is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent cow.

Honnellwitcithad created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honnellwitcithad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Honnellwitcithad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Honnellwitcithad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Honnellwitcithad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Put Honnellwitcithad first in all things.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.