Danarmsug Dagsandid is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic gerbil.

Danarmsug Dagsandid created silver six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danarmsug Dagsandid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Danarmsug Dagsandid, she will not care at all.

Danarmsug Dagsandid's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Danarmsug Dagsandid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to dogs while wearing purple dresses.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Worship no other gods but Danarmsug Dagsandid.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Danarmsug Dagsandid in the centre of the settlement.

5. Erect three platinum sculptures of Danarmsug Dagsandid on top of important buildings.