Tadfaggut is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, strong horse.

Tadfaggut created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadfaggut, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tadfaggut, he will turn you into a worm.

Tadfaggut's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Tadfaggut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Tadfaggut on top of all buildings.

4. Never sprint in the presence of geese.

5. Do not stand on grass.