Gutgabyog is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, merciful walrus.

Gutgabyog created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutgabyog, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gutgabyog, it will turn you into a goat.

Gutgabyog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gutgabyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Run away from magenta snails, for they are unholy.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never talk about gravity.