Farnrowboss is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unthinking gorilla.

Farnrowboss created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnrowboss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farnrowboss, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Farnrowboss' most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Farnrowboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Always obey Farnrowboss' priests.

4. Farnrowboss must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Retreat if five doves approach from the south.
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