Govkabgat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omniscient walrus.

Govkabgat created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govkabgat, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Govkabgat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Govkabgat's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Govkabgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near dolphins.

2. Do not take Govkabgat's name in vain.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.