Fatfiddoss is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish dryad.

Fatfiddoss created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatfiddoss, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fatfiddoss, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fatfiddoss' most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fatfiddoss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta porpoises for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must love Fatfiddoss.

5. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.