Bapnurlgub is a god.

He takes the form of a large, cheerful chinchilla.

Bapnurlgub created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapnurlgub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bapnurlgub, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bapnurlgub's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bapnurlgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. You must love Bapnurlgub.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Do not kill gulls.