Paklabfarlib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful mink.

Paklabfarlib created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paklabfarlib, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Paklabfarlib, she will send minions to preach to you.

Paklabfarlib's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Paklabfarlib's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Paklabfarlib loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near sharks while wearing blue hats and balancing five silver spheres on your hands.