Genvoldog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humorless beaver.

Genvoldog created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genvoldog, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Genvoldog, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Genvoldog's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Genvoldog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Genvoldog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.