Gamruttcab Getmadcen is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, intelligent gorilla.

Gamruttcab Getmadcen created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamruttcab Getmadcen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gamruttcab Getmadcen, it will turn you into a tree.

Gamruttcab Getmadcen's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gamruttcab Getmadcen's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never talk about optics near manatees while wearing purple hats.

4. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with envy.

5. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Gamruttcab Getmadcen in the centre of the settlement.