Flantontail is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unfair shark.

Flantontail created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flantontail, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flantontail, he will torture you forever.

Flantontail's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Flantontail's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with indigo.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Always help horses.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never sit in summer.