Kemwattikyat is a god.

She takes the form of a large, stupid faun.

Kemwattikyat created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemwattikyat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kemwattikyat, she will turn you into a frog.

Kemwattikyat's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Kemwattikyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Do not name children after porpoises.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Never gather eight capybaras in one place.