Fignanbed is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic meerkat.

Fignanbed created the planet Venus three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fignanbed, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fignanbed, she will turn you into a mole.

Fignanbed's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Fignanbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Fignanbed loves goats, so they must be honoured.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.