Fitbonfig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, amazing fox.

Fitbonfig created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitbonfig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fitbonfig, she will turn you into a dog.

Fitbonfig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Fitbonfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat moths with great respect.

2. Never eat tomatoes on fasting days.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Do not kill aardvarks.

5. Always store carrots above ground.