Kanyaryak is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, kind gorilla.

Kanyaryak created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanyaryak, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kanyaryak, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kanyaryak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kanyaryak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never wear red tights.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.