Afcidquill is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, resourceful donkey.

Afcidquill created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afcidquill, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Afcidquill, he will not care.

Afcidquill's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Afcidquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near monkeys while wearing fawn shoes and balancing five silicon spheres on your hands.

2. Never feed coconuts to bats while wearing coats.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Afcidquill.